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An outrage without change

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Yesterday it became apparent that, in a tragic miscarriage of justice, my name has been left off the ballot papers for Labour leadership. This is supposedly because I did not “officially” nominate myself – further proof that those in the higher echolons of the Party fear me.

They don’t fear that I would be an unsuccessful leader, bringing about the collapse of the Labour Party, but they fear the change I represent. And they fear that I would be too successful. Have any of the other candidates had the boldness to put their name to a campaign so vital and controversial as the ‘PETS DYING IS IMMORAL’ one, for example?

Jim spearheading the important ‘PETS DYING IS IMMORAL’ campaign

I see this not as a death toll for my aspiration, nor even a setback. Rather it inspires me to work harder, overcome adversity and lead Labour into the future. Labour needs to be the party of the future; the party of change, innovation and imagination. I am the candidate of change and innovation. I am the imaginary candidate.

That’s why the mere ommission of my name from the ballots will not slow down the Garner locomotive. Tomorrow I’ll be uploading another video, outlining how I can still win and explaining how you can help.

A new Geldof?

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

Mark Feckless MP

This is a guest post written by Mark Feckless, Member of Parliament for Bleaksby.

Today is exactly 25 years to the day since Live Aid. As such, it was a popular topic for idle chatter in the Members’ Tea Room this morning. One close and successful friend of mine put forward an interesting question. She asked:

“How is that Bob Geldof, a man with no discernible talent, a man who is foul-mouthed and instantly dislikeable, a man who feels it morally justifiable to call his daughters Peaches and Fifi Trixabelle, a man who openly supports imposing the music of Queen upon a nation, can organise an event which goes on to fund corrupt Governments in Africa and still be praised for his achievements?”

Bob Geldof may be mocked on popular comedy shows on television, but his name has become synonomous with attempting to make the world a better place with his limited ability. Yes, maybe in some cases things got worse but people got swept up in this wave of enthusiasm to help others. People remember exactly where they were when they watched Live Aid and what a great time they had. They didn’t have to deal with some of the awful consequences in places like Ethiopia, so they still have a positive view of how it went.

Read that quote again. Now think of the Labour Leadership Contest. Remind you of anyone?

Jim Garner may not be the most talented politician. God knows, he’s certainly not the most popular. He may have slipped up in the past and tried to hide it and maybe he shouldn’t tweet during late night sittings in the Chamber.

But he has an enthusiasm to make things better. He probably doesn’t even know how and in some cases it’ll undoubtedly make things worse – but probably not for you. What more can you ask for? Let yourself be washed onto the shore of ignorance by the Jim Garner wave.

The return of the Jim Garner Movement

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

I put forthwith my deepest regret and apologies that my online campaign has taken such a backseat in recent weeks. Following the departure from my team of my Campaign Manager Rowan and volunteer Sam, I have been busy assembling a new team in the new campaign offices in London. Obviously, this has been time-consuming and I have had to concentrate on things other than the website. This has led to groundless and frankly scurrilous accusations, nay, smears that I would be leaving the race – although those who have been following my Twitter account will know that I am still very active.

Happily, I can say that I do now how a fully-functioning team in place in London now and that the real, transparent, behind-the-scenes, access-all-areas, actual-new-politics videos will return soon. One thing you may have noticed about the videos is that they are shot in continuous motion – which means that unlike George Osborne’s Budget, there are no cuts!!*

Before the videos resume (hopefully next week), I will be returning to daily blogging, giving my immediate reactions to the news stories of each day.

Collectively, these daily snapshots can be held together, flicked through and motionised into your very own cartoon of the Jim Garner Movement.

*Been holding onto that one for weeks.

Movin’ On Down

Monday, June 28th, 2010

Today the Jim Garner for Labour Leader campaign is being recentralised to London from Luxton. Having been the first candidate to have run a campaign outside of London, I feel it is now imperative to move inside London. Raging inside the machine.

It is with sadness that I have to announce that Rowan and Sam, my campaign team, will not be joining me in London. This is not the end of my campaign, but there will be fewer videos until I manage to assemble a London-based squad. Mainly because I need someone to hold the camera.

Exclusive interview: Up close and personal with Jim

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

A very personal interview, showing the real Jim – including his take on the “Emergency” Budget.

Uniting the left – Is communism cool?

Monday, June 21st, 2010

The days seem to be getting longer and we’re not getting the kind of press attention that we’d like. However, we’ve had an interesting offer that could be the bold move we need to show we’re serious.

But is it wrong to accept communist donations?

Jim reaches 33 nominations

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

I am delighted to have received the 33 nominations to be on the ballot for Labour leader. I realise this hasn’t been widely reported, mostly due to the anti-Garner bias in the mainstream media, stemming from the time I called Rupert Murdoch “an evil Aussie sorcerer monkey” at a party. To his face. I was quite drunk.

Anyhow, congratulations to the other five candidates. I look forward to an exciting contest over the next few months.Let it be a fair fight.

Let us be free from fear of smear. I’m looking at you, Ed.

Nomination Deadline day video diary

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Find out if Jim’s made it onto the ballot.

My problem with the Hustings

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

You might have noticed that in my behind-the-scenes video I published yesterday, I mentioned that I’d be boycotting the vast majority of leadership candidates hustings debates because I feel they “stifle debate”.

This may not make sense to you, but it’s true. A lot of things don’t make sense but are true. Evolution. Aeroplanes. Lee Evans’ popularity.

At the time of writing, there are 34 timetabled hustings (including the two yesterday). When you have lots of debate, you end up having no debate. You learn each others arguments, your lines become rehearsed; no points are scored, no cock ups are made.

This is why I will be making my hustings appearances few and far between – I will add surprise and excitement, the other candidates will never be sure what I will say and I will be constantly changing my policies, values and beliefs in order to avoid becoming predictable. This is what politics is like now. Have principles, but make them progressive, pragmatic, populus principles. Flexideology. Doing this I feel will mean that the other candidates will be forced to be on their toes, therefore keeping the contest exciting.

And it will all be down to me.

Hustings preparation: Gaza conflict

Monday, June 7th, 2010

A behind the scenes look at Jim’s preparation for the Labour leadership hustings. Here, we find out how he would deal with the Israel/Palestine conflict.